Communication is the key to a healthy environment…
How we communicate with ourselves and other matters. Healthy communication to me means you are able to communicate with someone when you are unsure, frustrated, worried or questioning a decision made without making the other person feel less of a person. For example, throwing in hurtful comments, or making assumptions without knowing the facts, or just using statements that are generalized. The thing about healthy communication is there are no assumptions, or gossip happening it is just straight communication from one source to the next. It can be hard to communicate with someone when your upset, but remember how you communicate has an impact one way or the other, and when you communicate with kindness and respect even when your upset you build respect and trust from others. Building a strong culture takes the majority if not all to believe in the power of communication. We are not always going to agree or believe in another persons or peoples decisions or values. However, how someone else makes decisions or what they value is not up to us. What is up to us is how we can contribute and model proper communication. I am the first to admit when my communication is lacking both in my workplace or in my home and I still reflect on how I could have communicated better or not made that assumption. Assumptions and gossip are incredibly toxic and can cause unnecessary stress on an environment. The way we interact with each other matters, a good environment allows us to build the strong bonds of trust required for effective cooperation. In an environment that is communicating effectively and treating everyone with respect even when they disagree or are upset here is what happens in our brains and in our environments. Research states-when people are happy in an environment oxytocin is released and an increase of oxytocin decreases stress and improves cognitive stress. It also lowers blood pressure and inspires us to work together. Another hormone released during happy people is serotonin which improves confidence. Good working and living environments increases the above (oxytocin and serotonin, and lowers cortisol). Remember cortisol is the stress hormone and when high can be extremely unhealthy for our bodies and mind.
I challenge you, next time you are upset with another person whether it be the workplace or other environments in your life, try these three things before making any decisions on your next steps.
What are you actually upset about? Name it. Is this something that actually affects me and is worth a conversation?
If it is something that affects you, ask yourself do I want to address it or wait? This is important 24 hour rule is a real thing and can make the difference between a positive conversation and one that goes south!
Lastly, if you choose to communicate who is it that I need to talk to about this. If you are not used to positive communication practice. For example, always state at the beginning “this is how I am feeling and just need clarity.” Don’t ever use “you make me feel or you did…” when you are accusatory it will shut the other person out from listening to you. You can get your point across and your message without making someone else feel less than…REMEMBER THIS!
IMPORTANT- how we feel is up to us. We can feel upset by someone else’s decision, but that person didn’t make us feel that way, we chose to be upset. We are in control of the thoughts and emotions we keep in and let out.
IMPORTANT- perspective matters. The way you perceive something can also make the difference. If we always see things from a deficit lens it will be hard to see the asset “the good.” If we always make assumptions, we are never giving others the chance.
I hope this blog post makes you think, helps you reflect on your communication and gives you permission to know that communication is an on going exercise that has to be trained!
I am still working on it and is why I am writing about it👇comment below for me on how this blog post made you feel reading it.
As always, reach out, ask questions and enter conversations with kindness and compassion! You never know how someone else is entering the conversation or the bricks in their backpack that day☺️.
Michelle
Communication is the KEY to a healthy environment!
